Category: the Rant Board
I'm almost forty. I admit I have more than blindness going on. But, I do "NOT," belong somewhere where someone holds my hand, when I have to pee! I've heard so many professionals tell me to sign up. Well, many things prevent me:
1: I can take care of myself! Yes, I have help! You tell me who doesn't?! Even people who can see have help with things that are difficult. The tall person, reaches for the high shelf the short person can't reach. So is the short person needing assisted living?2: I'm prone to infections. If being around a few people increases them, what about being around a load of people with a lot more problems than me? People who can't even ask the nurse to change their sheets? What about the places that don't even care?
I ask for what I need. I even ask for my wants at times. I'm sick of being belittled because of my other limitations. Even my counselor said it, and that's what I should do, instead of looking for an apartment! BULLSHIT! Why take up space someone else needs?! Isn't that just as selfish as wanting "the poor thing," out of the way?!
Right, I said what makes me mad right now! I don't think all Assisted living is bad. But, I have problems and medicine those places would not touch with a fifty-foot pole! And, I have no choice!
Sarah
Thought you said you had the wrong age on your profile? Now I'm really confused?
Guess I need assisted living. Lol
I said that to that 57 Heaven chick, to fool her. Didn't mean to make you question your sanity, if you have any. :p
I really am 39, but I got sick of her number thing. Maybe because I used to obsess about them for a different reason.
Anyway, the only thing that makes me feel old is my relatives growing up. But, I'm far from it! *Smile*
Sarah
What about hiring a caregiver and yet having your own place? I have a person who comes once a month. I also have other issues besides blindness, but find a caregiver can give me the help I need. I am older than you, but well understand why you want your own space. As far as I know from friends who are in my 60 something age group, medicare does pay for a caregiver. One friend has a caregiver 3 days a week, 3 hours each time. Just a suggestion to help you out. Feel free to PM me if you want to.
Wow, Sarah. I see that you are angry. But you have a point there. If you think we need assistance living, why not assist the old?
because many people who are sighted can't imagine (literally) even doing the simple tasks of daily living without sight.
I've said it before but pretty consistently at doctor appointments the staff (not the docs usually the nurses techs and clerical) say "You live alone?" with incredulity. Sighted people learn the vast majority of things through their eyes, they are wired that way.
Do you have SIL agencies in your area? (Services for Independent Living) They do what they can to assist with living independently.
to be absolutely fair, the short person can jump on a chair, rather than ask a tall person to get stuff for them. I'm short, and that's what I do.
the thing about people is, is that the contact they have with blind people is usually limited to older blind people who lose their sight, and they do have a harder time of things than people who have never had it. We've already done the adapting because we've grown up this way, for the most part. However elderly blind people in their 60s aren't going to do much of that in the lifetime left to them.
The funny thing is I have a caregiver. Let me explain what happened:
In 2009, I had to file a report, because someone sexually assaulted me near my apartment I lived in. So, none of the neighbors wanted to "get" involved." Then, one of the neighbors was heard threatening my life and I could not prove it. The neighbor who told me was honest enough, but feared her status, if she said something. I don't blame her.
Someone offered me a room to rent. The place we were at, should have never been rented. The owner, at the time, wasn't paying Mortgage, so we were forced to look for new digs. That's when this person, we were dating, said it was over. Things he couldn't come to terms with. I'd been looking for rentals for both of us, but his family just swooped down and moved him out.
I had two months to find low income housing. I'd applied a year before, but wasn't having any luck getting higher on the list. I would have been higher on the list but for what I term "the circle". Here it is:
I had nowhere to go. Shelters will not accept me and my limitations. I get it. Insurance and all, and I could go to, guess what? Assisted living. I can't get in, because of one of my meds. Some of the money is federal and, what's all right in one Washington, isn't yet all right in the other Washington. So, instead of living on the street, I accepted my brother and Sister-In-Law's offer to stay, "Temporarily". Well, since family has taken me in, I no longer qualify for assistance to get urgent/emergency housing. But I've had a few close calls, and people who have balance problems do "NOT," belong in a split-level house. I had nowhere though. So I call a shelter, and all they can offer is the emergency location program in my county, who won't take me since I'm in a place. Even though I have hurt myself, in three different ways, a total of five times. 2 pulled muscles in the ribs and back, 1 Bursitis injury, and 2 times of overtaxing my lungs. That does not include the sprained ankle, and the fall outside, looking for something I dropped.
I'm always sore. I'm always grumpy. I want out. I love my family for this. However, this is too long. I've finally got legal help. All I want, right now, is a somewhat accessible apartment. The rest can come later. But, I want 1 floor, 1 place, my own kitchen, my own toilet, shower, my own apartment. I don't beg for perfection. I am willing to compromise, till my name pops up. However, my doctors, my family, and I, all agree that what I need, isn't two sets of stairs!
Most apartments "require," that I make between 1200-to-1500 dollars. Well, I can't leave the state, and only California and Missouri can even come close to that. Before this, I lived on my own, in an apartment for over sixteen years. I know what I have to do to keep clean. And, with all the infections I get, the last thing I need is a building full of people who don't always say when they need changed. Most Urinary Infections come from the back end. I have a specialist who explained all this to me. So, here I am. Frustrated, tired, shaking from a treatment, and, you guessed it. I'm also being treated for an infection.
I didn't mean to get so blunt, but it sure feels better!
God Bless!
Sarah/HW
It is very frustrating that so many think we need care-takers, or simply assume we have them. A couple months ago, I was talking to my cable provider about problems with my modem. When I told the agent that I was blind and therefore couldn't see the lights on the modem, his first question was, "Where is the person who lives with you to take care of you? Could I talk to them so they can tell me what the lights are doing?" I was furious. Even if it's just the incredulous, "You live alone?" that I get from people, it's frustrating. I certainly understand that there are situations where people need assisted living, or a caregiver. If someone has additional problems to blindness, like other physical or mental disabilities, that makes total sense. But this idea that the lack of sight alone is the reason for that kind of thing angers me.
Oh my goodness, yes, I can see how all of this is frustrating. I'm not sure what all of this is about Sarah. I know one guy who has his own apartment here in the state, but rceive assistance from people just to help him with day to day tasks, but you don't need that. This guy was also living with his mother, and older than you. Maybe it's just by state, but surely there is someone who can help you get into your own apartment with just help a few times a week. There has to be. The situation that you're in puts you in a situation where you would need housing. Just ug...
I do get help with daily tasks. When I get really sick, I have a lot of weakness. But they come in, do their stuff, ask what else I need, then go away. I love quiet time, and most of my day is spent without someone helping me. Because most of my doctors are out of county, and paperwork is beyond me, I go with a caregiver. But, I have one that doesn't just do things, unless I'm just to weak. We work together to get things done. And, I also go with her to Costco and some stores.
But, I'm able to get my point across about what I need, and they don't make choices for me. When they do, they find they are not working for me. I get myself to and from counseling appointments and will go to my training sessions alone.If there is a time when their time would be wasted, they just don't come with me.
God Bless!
Sarah/HW
I've never been told that I should move into assistive living. I think what Bea has is betterr, because you gett the help you need when you need it and no more than you want.
I have that too, but we have to have them come to my brother's. Emergency housing just wants to brush me off, and put me in a catagory of unhelpable. No way! I'm not going to let them. I want what I had before.
God Bless!
Sarah/HW
what would happen if your family did some lobbying on your behalf, basically tell the people who matter that they themselves are not willing to have you with them. it's harsh, but it might get some people to pull their fingers out and do something.
I'm trying to tell my brother that. He's finally relenting and saying that it isn't safe medically, for me to be here. God willing, that helps. He also is saying I belong anywhere, but assisted living, or anything close to it. He and my father are saying that that would be to much like saying I'm incapable, and to quote my dad: "That's Bullshit!"
He doesn't really dance around it. So they are saying: "We don't want you here, but we want you to have your own place!" He's willing to sign that, if he knows who in the giv-a-darn society, to tell or write something for. I'm still waiting for the people that can make something happen to contact me.
God Bless!
Sarah/HW
Things just got worse. Nobody can help me, they keep saying. The lawyers, or liars that said they could, can't. I just don't care who I call. I'm ready to give up, but I know I can't! Just because I have disabilities, I WILL, NOT, go to assisted dying! If I wanna die, I could find much more pleasant ways to go, than having some old hag giving my meds to me. And, I don't wanna die. Everyone seems to suggest assisted living. It looks like I'm gonna be living my life in a place that's not accessible. Because, I refuse to give up my independence! Why should I?!
I know those people, and when I come across them I want to slap them. Like people asking me who is going to help me raise my kids.